Stefanie Gass | Podcast Coach | Clarity Coach | Christian Entrepreneur
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Boundaries. When to Say No, and Valuing Your Space and Time

6/27/2019

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Hold up. Let me climb on my soapbox.? 

LISTEN UP, SISTERS.

This week?
Today?
This hour?
This minute? 


?It’s ?YOURS ?

Not your husbands, or your moms, or your BFF's, or your co-workers… Your time is 100% YOURS. Or at least it should be.

Lemme simplify. 


➡It’s time to take your power back.

It’s time to say ❌ to the crap that doesn’t serve you.


❌To the long playdates that are cutting into your productivity.
❌To the free services and products you keep giving away.
❌To the ‘friend’ discounts.
❌To the loooong dramatic phone calls where someone else dumps their crap on you.
❌To saying YES to everything, even when you don’t want to, would rather chill, have other plans, or aren’t feeling the people that’ll be there.
❌To agreeing to everything so that you will be liked, or so that you can be labeled a loyal friend.

Look, I get it.

It’s tough to say no. But the truth? I say no 5x more than I say yes. It doesn’t make me mean, a jerk or selfish. It makes me smart. It makes me happy and fulfilled… and… it is a huge reason my business is successful. ✊ 


✝God comes first.
?My family and I come second.
?My health comes third.
?My business comes fourth.

Everything else? It fits in when I WANT it to…? And I make 0⃣ apologies for it.

If you’re not GANGSTER at boundaries, you serioulsy MUSTTTTTTT come listen to today’s podcast episode. ?Lemme’ teach you why you struggle with boundaries.
?How you can set them without feeling like a jerk.
?How to maintain them and so. much. more.

It’s time to reclaim ?your ? own ? dang ? life.


Love and light,
Stef

P.S. If you enjoy this episode, be sure to share a screenshot in your IG stories! I will shout you out on my stories! Yeahhh!!!!!
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​​​​​Full transcription available at the bottom of this blog post. ​


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Did you know I am a PODCAST COACH? Yep! I help women launch podcasts.
I am also a MOMPRENEUR SUCCESS COACH. I help women figure out their calling, niche, and focus. Then monetize using courses or coaching!

If you are interested in podcasting, keep reading!

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I'm here to help you answer all of those questions, and so much more.

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I have a full training video there on how to start a podcast in 10 steps and lots of LIVE podcast training and Q&A from my students.  I even share EXACTLY HOW I hit #54 in the Entrepreneurship Category and over 60K downloads in the first 12 months without ONE DOLLAR of paid traffic.

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HOW TO START A PODCAST!
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I launched my podcast in 2018 after searching for a way to scale my coaching business and grow my following in a faster, more authentic way. I decided on podcasting because I have kids (aka. video isn't my jam), and because audio is growing insanely fast and I saw an emerging trend. Last, because committing to a podcast was my way of showing up consistently and dedicating myself to my mission.

What has podcasting done for my business? Well, my podcast grew my revenue by over 98%! My community has grown by thousands and it has allowed me to touch more people than I ever could have imagined.

I have now helped MANY other women (just like YOU) launch top rated podcasts. Many of them have ranked in the top #30 because of my effective launch strategy! If you want to have a show that STANDS out and grows your business, brand, and mission here on Earth - come check out my proven program.
COULD PODCASTING BE RIGHT FOR YOU?

Show Notes:

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Thinking about podcasting? Learn EVERYTHING you need to know at my free Start a Podcast Training Page (https://startapodcast.gr8.com​)! Or, Snag my launch strategy + checklist at podcastchecklist.gr8.com

Confused about what to do FIRST in your business? Download my Mompreneur Biz Blueprint and find out the exact order of operations to build your business. What to do, when: bizblueprint.gr8.com

All of my recommended programs & software can be found at stefaniegass.com/resources
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:

​Why? Hello there. Welcome back to the show. I'm so excited to pour into you today. I'm excited about today's episode and the topic. This is episode 73, and we are going to be digging into boundaries. What to say yes, to what to say no to and how to actually value your time and figure out what your time is worth. So this is going to be really, really important for you. I hope that every single one of my listeners really digs in to this topic. I hope that you hear me to the depths of your soul, because when you set up boundaries, you are setting up every aspect of your life to flow smoother. You are elevating the vibration of your entire life. You're calling in clients that are going to pay you what you're worth, and you repelling things and people that are no longer serving you.

It's going to be good. So before we dig into all of that amazingness, let's hear the review of the week. This review is left on iTunes from boss, babe mama. It's amazing five stars. I stumbled upon this podcast by accident. I subscribed and started listening to each episode. I love this podcast. So much. Truth is shared. I am left feeling refreshed and inspired. Thank you so much for creating this podcast. This is exactly what I need to grow forward. And Oh my gosh. I love that review. Thank you, boss, baby mama. And if you guys haven't left a review for the show, [inaudible] do it right now. Posit head on over to iTunes. It'll take you 30 seconds. I will love you forever. And I will send you so much gratitude and Hudson kisses right here through the microphone. If you've ever learned something from me, leave a review.

You guys, this is how we grow our mission. This is how we touch more women. This is how we get amazing guests on the show. And it also fuels me to continue creating all of this amazing content for you guys come plea free and PS, Hey girl, since we're like business besties, did you know you can work with me like on a one-on-one basis. Did you know that I have courses and eBooks starting at $9? Did you know I have four or five completely free trainings for you? Did you know if you didn't know, you can find out all the things over at stefaniegass.com/workwithme, and let's work together. I want to help you grow forward on your goals. And I can't wait to get to know you.

What's up. Mama boss. Welcome back to The Mompreneur Mastermind Show. I'm Stefanie Gass, success strategist, and passive income queen creator. If you're ready to step into your God, led potential, create profit from your passions and capture the success that is already yours. This podcast was made for you as always. You can find out more and connect with me over at stefaniegass.com. So grab that cup of coffee or fill up that glass of wine and let's dig in to today's show. Okay,

Let's talk about boundaries. And before we dig into this, I want to share some stories with you guys, because as you know, I am a three on the Enneagram. We're going to have an entire Enneagram episode. Soon. If you guys are like, why does she keep talking about this? It's because it's amazing. It's a personality test, but I'm a three, which means I'm an achiever. I was born very organized. I'm a go getter. I am just very driven and this is also bad. Okay? So don't, I'm not boasting. It's just who I am. It's my, it's my makeup. It's my zones of genius to achieve. And that can easily take on a life of its own and become an idol, which you have heard me talk about as well. But when I I'm controlling that and making sure that it is in alignment and there are boundaries associated with achievement in my life that I am much more successful, but here's what I've never struggled with.

I've never struggled with just saying no, it's always come relatively easy for me. Give or take depending on where I am in my life. But I've recently had some friends and clients share with me. They're like, how do you get all these things done? Or how do you say no? Or you just seem so good at blocking out certain times for things. And so I started to realize that while this may come pretty naturally for me, it wasn't coming naturally for almost everyone else that I knew. So let me give you a story. I'm going to call this friend of mine, Amber, okay. This is not her real name, but I didn't ask her permission to share this story. So Amber, it is so Amber is one of my good friends and Amber, we're going to say that she runs a cooking business. All right.

So when Amber gets a new client and they say, Hey, I want you to come over and you're going to show me how to cook something. Like, let's say, you're going to come over. And we live in New Mexico. So show me how to cook some enchiladas, some green and red chili, chicken enchiladas [inaudible] and Amber says, cool. So she gets that payment from this person. They book the time that it's going to happen. Amber has to grocery shop, get all the ingredients. Cause this amount of money, let's say it's 200 bucks. She's going to spend an hour of her time and she's going to grocery shop. So Amber goes over. It's like a private chef situation. She shows up, there are three ladies they're ready for their fun, little in July to cook and party. They got their margaritas. They're ready to have fun. Amber shows up, she has all of the groceries ready to go.

They have paid her for one hour of her time. So Amber has everything pre chopped and they start to go through the menu. They preheat the oven, they do all of the things, but then one of the ladies gets a phone call. So she goes out into the other room. And then one of the other ladies has to deal with her kids. 20 minutes goes by and Amber is hanging out in the kitchen. And then Amber is like, okay, you know, I gotta get this going. And so she's like, Hey ladies, are you ready to get back to the enchiladas? And they're like, Oh yeah, yeah. So they come back to the kitchen and then they just start girl talking. Okay. They are not paying attention to the task. And Amber feels really strange cause she's like, should I say something? Should I, you know, I don't want to ruin this moment.

I don't want to speak out. Gosh, I don't know what I should do. So Amber says nothing. Three hours goes by before these enchiladas are done. And these ladies are three sheets to the wind by this point. And Amber just is hating life. Like she wants to get out of there. The babysitter's running over. She feels totally taken advantage of her time has been devalued considerably and she just wants to quit. She's like, I'm so sick of this. I'm constantly taken advantage of, I don't know how to handle the situation. So there's one story. And this person comes to me and they say, I hate doing this thing because I don't know how to make it fit into this time window or how to handle this. Right? So here's another story for you. I have a client and we'll call this client. Mary and Mary is extremely successful.

Mary makes seven figures. And Mary has an online business while Mary's issue. Is that when she hires someone, okay, let's say that she hires a graphics designer person. This graphic designer person can be like, Oh Mary, I need to do this for you. And she says, Oh yeah, cool. Okay. Well, Mary, you also need this. You need to be to make you a full ebook. You need me to redo your website. You need me and Mary doesn't know how to say no in her business. So Mary is bleeding money because she says yes to every person, Tom, Joe, and Sally that come to her with, let me help you. You need to buy my coaching. You need to buy my programs. You need me on a monthly retainer to do this for you and do that for you. And Mary is spending so much money.

That is totally unnecessary because she doesn't know how to say no. So that's Mary's problem. Okay. Let me tell you a third story. This is actually my story. So we can use my name, Stephanie gas, the app, when I was building my network marketing business and I was new in the industry. I had zero boundaries because my, I thought in order to be successful, you need to do more. So I would work and work and work. I would wake up at five in the morning to work. Then I would take a call at any time. This is so embarrassing to share with you guys. But we were on our engagement trip where my husband proposed to me. I was on the phone on the whole bus ride to Napa Valley. Like what, like totally missing this insane experience because I think I need to be on the phone because I think that being on the phone and busy work equals more income, which equals more validation, which equals worth.

And that we know is a total facade. If you've listened to my last few episodes, it was so bad. And I am so embarrassed to share this with you guys. But this is just my reality. And hopefully everyone has forgiven me at this point, but it went so far as not going to my sister-in-law's baby shower, which was out of town two hours and a half drive because it overlapped with our monthly event. That is ridiculous. And the reason was because I was a leader, quote, unquote, if I wasn't at the monthly event, well, no one else was going to be at the monthly event. And if no one else was at the monthly event, no one was going to work and no money was going to be paid. And there goes all of the worth. Right? So what the heck? So here is the first example.

Amber was not able to relay her boundaries to her clients. Then we have Mary and Mary is not able to say no to people she's hired. Okay? And they're taking advantage of her boundaries. There was me and it was my own fault. I was imposing. I created this life, this boundary free life, because I thought in order to have blank, you must do blink all the time. Why is this a problem? Well, first of all, okay, this is a problem because you're filled with resentment. You are working or doing things nonstop that you are spending way more money than you need to spend. You are frustrated. There's only one of you. And so if you have no boundaries, you can't do all the things that you really need to do to be fulfilled. So we have to have them in our lives. We have to.

So what are boundaries? I actually like to visually think of it. You guys know that I like the visualization. Think of it as many buckets in your day. And you get to say, what goes inside of those buckets? So you have a spirituality bucket, you've got a family bucket, you've got a health and wellness bucket. You have a business bucket and maybe you have a few other buckets, but those are my four buckets that I fill every day. So what I do with my life, I get to decide how much time and what makes up each bucket. I get to decide that no one else does my coworkers. Don't my employees. Don't my spouse does not. My children do not so to speak and granted, okay, take us to the grain of salt. There are certain times scheduled events that are non-negotiable school, summer camp, your spouses, you know, work dinner like certain things you have to do.

And so book those in first into your planners. But outside of that, what else is going into those buckets that you get to determine? And those are called boundaries. And if it doesn't fit in the bucket, you are going to say no. So let me dig into this a little bit further. All right. So first of all, the first step in how to create boundaries, and then I'm going to go back. I'm going to talk about some specific ways that Amber and Mary could have handled and can handle these boundary issues that they're facing. But let's first go through some tangible advice for you on how to create and maintain boundaries in your own life. Number one, you have to put a value on your time. So many of us are just running around free, like, Oh yeah, I'm just me, little me and not worth anything.

I'll just do everything for everyone. And there's no money tied to my time. My time is just totally free. And that is 1000000% false SIS. Your time is worth money because I actually believe what is even more important than money is time, right? So if you can create time by putting a value in your mind, that's associated with each hour, each half an hour, each minute of your day, you're probably going to feel more comfortable saying no. So if you need a school and on this, I just heard an amazing episode by Chris harder. And his podcast is for the love of money. It's episode two 17, go listen to that. It's 12 minutes. It'll change your life. But in essence, this is Chris's formula for this take the number of hours you want to make in a year, right? Divided by the number of hours you want to work in a year.

So this would be your hourly worth, not your hourly rate, but your hourly worth, because not every hour that you're doing something is going to return an investment. Okay? So let's do an example. Let's say that you want to work five hours a day, five days a week, right? So that would be 25 hours per week, times 52 weeks in a year. That's 1300 hours. Now let's say you wanted to make a hundred thousand dollars a year, right? You would just take a hundred thousand and you divide that by that 1300 hours. And you're going to see that that value would be $76 and 92 cents. So the value on your working time would be $72 per hour. So this is a great way for you to just get a rough estimate in your mind of what am I worth like, what is my work time worth?

And do I want to cut into that work space time to say yes to something. So number one is put a value on your time. Number two, does the thing, or the person that you were saying yes to do one of these four things, number one, does it make you money? Does this thing you're saying yes. To make you money? Number two, does it grow your brand or your mission, for example, this podcast recording right now, now sitting here recording this show. It does not make me money necessarily like right now in this moment, but it hits number two because it grows my brand and my mission. And when I grow my brand and my mission, I then in turn down the road, make money, right? Because there is more clients in the pipeline. People can see me. I have more trust, more visibility. Okay.

So does it do one of those two things, as far as your business is concerned, number three, or does it create space and time? For example, making an investment for me to outsource all of my podcast publication and getting this person to schedule all my interviews for me and do all the research and help me with the back and forth and the scheduling and the outlines. That's an investment for me, but because it creates space and time in my life. And I know my hourly value, and I know that this is far less, this costs me $15 an hour. Whereas my value is much higher than that on my hourly amount. The answer is yes. Do you see that? So you're going to see, does this cost me less or create space and time number four, just to just bring you happiness, peace or joy.

So it doesn't make you money. Does it grow your brand or mission? Does it create space and time or does it bring you happiness, peace or joy? For example, when I go to the gym and I show up for my body pump class, I am not making any money. It is not growing my brand or mission. And it is not creating space and time in my life. What is it doing? It is bringing me joy and peace and happiness. Cause that's like therapy, right? Like your workout is therapy. So if it's in one of those four brackets, say, yes, if you wish this is your life, you get to choose what you say yes to. So if it fits in those four brackets, say yes, and then make sure it fits into one of your buckets. Write it in the planner, set the time slots that you're going to do that thing.

And don't negotiate. Do not negotiate. If someone came to me today and said, Seth, can we go to breakfast? And I have something set up in my calendar. That's a promise to myself like my workout class. The answer is no, I love you. But no, here are some other times that might work based on me and my calendar and my availability. And that might sound harsh. You might go, Whoa, like I'm not asking stuff to lunch, but here's the deal I did not get to this healthy, happy space. I, wasn't not able to lose 60 pounds to start an entirely second phase of my business from scratch. Get an alignment with my spirituality by saying yes to everything that people asked me to do. Right. I got here because I said no. And because I started to value all of the hours in my day, and I knew that my time was sacred.

Those hours that I get to make promises to myself are far and few between. And so are yours. So don't make excuses for the things that you want to do that are going to fuel your fire that are making you money, growing your brand, creating space in your life or bringing you happiness period. Now, if the thing doesn't do one of those four things, guess what you get to say? No SIS. Yup. And Oh, and you don't have to feel bad about it. Take that. You're going to say no. And then you're going to let it go. So I want you to remember this little rhyme. Say no, let it go. How often do you say no? And then you feel bad? Oh, I should've said yes. Like, let me tell you a story. We have been gone every weekend, traveling. We had camping and commitments and a birthday party for a graduation party for my husband's brother.

And like, non-negotiables that we had to show up for, right? The commitments that we had made. But I said, I said at the beginning of the month, that final weekend, I am not doing anything. I'm not going anywhere. I am not doing anything like period. I am not going to commit to one event. And guess what happened? Got a phone call. Hey, we have this event. It's a birthday party. And you know what? I made a promise to myself. I needed a weekend away from people. I'm an ambivert. Okay. Is that means I'm highly extroverted at moments like this. And then I actually need like internal healing time. I need to be alone. I need to read a book. I need to take a shower by myself. I have to recuperate and be an introvert for a minute before I can go and expend all my energy again.

And so it was like, I love you, but no, we're not gonna make it. It didn't make up a lie of why we're not going to make it. I didn't make an excuse. I just said, I'm not going to make it to this event. You know, happy birthday. I can still send a gift. I can do something at a different time with that person if I want to. But the answer is no I'm going to let it go. No, let it go. There is no guilt, right? There is no bad feelings. There is nothing there because if I make this promise to myself and I have this boundary set in my planner, it is now set in stone. When I write something in that planner, I want to think of it as if I'm writing an impermanent marker. This is not getting a raced just because Willy nilly Philly wants to do XYZ, but I don't really want to do it, but I have to do it because it's Willy Milly nilly.

Like no guys, no, if you don't want to do it, you say no. And it's that simple. If it is not fueling you or hitting one of those four key areas, you let it go. This is your time on this earth, right? This is your happiness. And you are in charge of it. This is your business, yours. And this even goes, as far as your client base and the people that want to hire you or work with you or use your service or use your products, right? There have been times where I have done a consult with someone, even though it will make me money, even though it would grow my brand, it will not bring me happiness or joy because I can tell that this client would be extremely, too much of a high energy expenditure or we're not aligned or our personalities. Aren't a good fit.

And I will say simply, I'm so sorry. I feel like we're not a great fit. And I hope you understand if you need any recommendations, let me know. Like you have get brave. You have to get powerful as a mompreneur and as a female entrepreneur, and you have to pull up those big girl panties and be willing to stand up for your happiness, your time, your relationships stop, devaluing yourself, self your worth is your worth right period. And here's the secret. When you create a certain worth in your mind, like, let's say you go by that calculation I did earlier. And you say, I am worth $76 an hour on my work time. Like that's what my value is right now, based on where I want to get at the end of this year and have these boundaries set up, but a client knocks on your door and says, Hey, I only have 25 bucks an hour.

Like, please, I really need your services. No, the answer is no, I am $75 an hour, right? Because when you claim your worth, people will rise to me. And the beauty of that is if they don't rise to meet, you they'll fall away. And the people that fall away are probably meant to fall away, because I can probably guess that that person that wants to pay you 25 bucks an hour is not going to have the same value on your time. As someone that's showing up with $75, because your time is worth what you deem it to be worth, trust this process. And then here's the second piece of this. Once you say yes to something. So for example, if I say yes to the gym, we have to set boundaries associated with that. Yes. Now, if I go to the gym and I have girlfriends that go with me, I could easily stand around and feel bad.

Like, Oh, I have to sit here with them because they hang out afterwards. They talk, they have coffee. It's fun. They go outside, they sit by the pool, but I have boundaries. So I say, I'm here to work out. I'll see y'all tomorrow. I gotta go. I have something else. That's lined up directly after this workout. It's a promise to myself. It's how I'm growing my business. And they know this. They expect it from me. When you are friends with me, there's no like, Oh, I think Steph would just on a whim. Hang out with me for four hours today because that's not how I operate. Sorry, not sorry. Right. You have to say, Hey Steph, do you have time? Next week we book a time. I have a specific time. Like this goes so extreme and you guys may think I'm a jerk, but I had a friend she's always late.

If you're a late person, stop it two weeks at a time, we booked the lunch. Okay. Because I have lots of stuff going on. And she booked this time with me. I told her I only have an hour and 15 minutes. Don't be late. I know she's always late. So I told her this, she showed up 20 minutes late, not surprised. And I just said, well, now we got 40 minutes to hang out. And she was super bugged. And I said, well, you knew, you knew I had to go after this. My boundary is, my boundary is my boundary. I'm not pushing my boundary for other people. And that goes across the board. You guys friendships clients. So let's talk about these examples, right? So let's go back up to Amber. Here's how I would have handled this. So Amber is here with this client and when she and the client are booking this private coaching experience, the private cooking experience on the phone, Amber should have said, I just want to remind you that this is a one hour session.

So, so that your expectations are in line. Make sure that you guys are ready, that we've carved out one hour of uninterrupted time. If you've got kiddos or something like that, it would be great if you had a sitter because we're going to dig right into cooking. And we are going to go from prep to table in one hour, because I actually have to get going right at 8:00 PM. So if you can communicate clearly your boundaries with your clients before you ever get in that awkward situation with them, you are going to save yourself and your client. I have never gone over a one hour power hour session with a client nor have I had a client be mad about it because here's what I do when we book the session. I say, okay. And just to remind you, these are one hour sessions. They are back to back most often.

And if they're not back to back, I have something else booked immediately following. So I just want to remind you have your questions prepared. It will be recorded for you for later. However, we are going to have to end right at 60 minutes. Is that going to be an issue for you? No, of course not. You run this business. You get to determine how these boundaries are going to flow. Okay? So it's the communication. It's being unafraid and unapologetic for what people are paying for. Right? And also, I know what I'm worth. If someone's going to pay me hundreds of dollars to work with me for one hour, then that's what they're going to pay me. It's not hundreds of dollars for two, three, four, six hours texting me all night long, emailing me follow up questions. Gnosis it is for one hour because I know the value that I bring to the table.

I have a value on my time, a high value. And so should you, right? So let's do the second example, Mary. Now Mary is saying yes to everyone that comes her way because she feels, I don't know, like she has to say yes to everything. I'm not really sure why she's doing this, but the way that I would handle this when it comes to Mary is when she hires someone new, she should hire them knowing this about herself on a project only basis. So if some graphic designer comes in to do a new ebook for her, Mary says, this is for an ebook in exchange for an ebook. Here is your X amount of dollars. Please submit the project here. And when this person like, Oh, I need to do this and this and this and this Mary just needs to ask herself, is this making me money?

Is this growing my brand? Is this creating me space? Or is this bringing me happiness and joy? And if the answer is no, Mary needs to say, no, thanks. Maybe next time I'll keep your name in my files. Like, why are we feeling guilty about saying no, no, right? Like simply no. So marriage for Mary, she needs to ask herself those questions and not feel like just because somebody asks you that you always have to say yes. Now let's go to my example, where I was working all the time, any time taking phone calls, showing up to events, regardless of when they were happening, this is time boundaries. And so how do I handle this? Now? I have work hours and I have a Calendly link. If you guys haven't heard the episode where I talk about the three systems, I've made, something like that.

It's in the last five episodes. Listen to it because I use Calendly and I have specific hours set up in my day that I work. And that is it. You don't get to say, Oh, none of those times work for me, Steph. How about 10:00 AM? Like, Nope, I'm at the gym. How about 7:00 PM? Nope. I'm with my family. How about Saturday at one? Absolutely not. I don't work on the weekends unless I want to write how I should've handled. That was say I have work hours. And these are the hours that I will take phone calls. These are the certain hours that I'll show up to events. And you know, it's crazy yet. Again, I've never had someone complain you guys. And the old, only time I've ever had to book outside of that window is like for clients in Australia, because of the time difference, people that are here in the U S with me, they're like, cool.

And they find a time that works based on my availability. Why? Because I am putting a value on my time. Now this can also go for family because I get it. Like family can be pretty, you know? What's the word I'm looking for? Like needy. So you can also put boundaries on your family and you guys, all of this comes with communication. It's not husband, I'm doing this. So, you know, by, by booboo, like whatever, no, this is not about being selfish, but it is about being fed, being fueled and furthering your mission. And it's about putting yourself first for once in your life, but in a tactful way. And this starts with having, cause this is like really, really a shock for our spouses sometimes, or your significant other when you're like, okay, all of a sudden I care about my fitness and my health when I haven't cared before.

And all of a sudden I've got to make time to go run and go to the gym. There's an expenditure associated with it, or I'm going to focus on my business. Like they don't, they're like, Whoa, like whiplash. Who are you? So just be sure that you have a conversation and clear communication around this and guys again, it's how you phrase it. So it's, Hey, you know, I just want to let you know, I really feel like I need to make my health a priority again. And I'm going to set some boundaries up around my health. And I was hoping that you'd be okay with me booking out a 5:30 AM class four days a week. And you could cover if the kids wake up, do you think that that would be okay? So it's about having a conversation, you know, not a dictatorship with your spouses and even with your clients or friends.

If you have a friend that's just taking advantage of your time and they love you. So of course they want to talk to you all day long. Of course, they want to spend two hours on the phone with you. Of course, they're going to text you every time something happens, but you find that you're drowning in that. And all of your boundaries are getting mismatched. And the time you're on the phone with them is encroaching on your work time or your family time or your fitness time or your spirituality. You have to open your mouth. Because again, you are a brave, strong, powerful woman and you have a voice. So you're going to use it. And you're going to say, Hey friend, I love you to the moon. I love you booboo. But listen, I am making some new promises to myself and I've set up some work hours and some boundaries, and I'm really trying hard to stick to them.

So I just wanted to let you know if I'm a little bit less available, I'm not mad at ya. I still love you, but I'm just creating some space and time for myself right now. And if your friend throws shade on that, you might want to rethink who your friends are because a friend should say, that's amazing. I'm so excited that you're refueling yourself. That's really it guys. It's having promises that you make to yourself that you don't negotiate on. It's putting a value on your time. Then it's answering those four questions. And then third, it's saying no to the things that are not fitting. Those four questions. And then fourth, it's creating boundaries and blocking out the time and the appointments to get these things done, that you are saying yes to in a timely manner, in a manner that fits in with your worth, your hourly value per that equation that I gave you earlier.

And guys trust them. This process. You're like Stef, I'm so scared. What if somebody says, no, a client says no. Or my friend leaves me because I'm not talking to her all day long, or somebody gets mad at me. Me, look, SIS, you are not on this earth to please everyone and their dog. You can only, only take control of your own happiness. You only have time to feel you and your family and your business and your mission and your spirituality. You can't take on the weight of the world. You can't devalue what you do, your mission, your services and your products, or you're going to feel all of the negative emotions like resentment, anger, overwhelm. And it's going to backfire can promise you I've been there. You've probably been there too, right? So I want you right now to sit up straight, look your little pretty self in the mirror and make some new promises.

I want you to set the boundaries that you need to set. You'd need to have the conversations with people that need to be had. You need to make sure you have clear communication with your clients before you ever get in the room with them or begin a service with them. And this is even outlined in my contract. It's that clear? You get 60 minutes for the power session. If you go over or we go over, we will be billed accordingly. And there are no apologies for this. I don't care how much I love a client. My value is my value and your value is yours. So I pray over you right now. I pray that you can take action on this. I pray that you muster up that courage girl, you stand up straighter. You put on that queen hat and rule that queendom because you have the right to you are more powerful than you know, and your voice has weight.

Your boundaries are worthy of being set and your time, every minute has a value associated with it. Stop wasting it. You have been called to do something incredible on this earth. I want you to do it with no apologies. I want you to make sure that the things that you're spending your time and energy on are fueling your heart, your soul, your body, your mind, your spirit. And if they're not that you say no, and you let go. And if you're struggling with this, pray on it. God's here to support you on this journey. He wants you to be successful in your life. He wants you to be happy and fulfilled. So if you found value in today's show mama, before I let you go, if you're really feeling this, take a screenshot of this episode right now, if you're promising to set up some boundaries and you love these tips, put in your Instagram stories, tag me, and I will give you a shout out on my stories. Okay? So until next time as always love and light, Stef.
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    Stefanie Gass

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