My Biggest Fear? That I'd poop on the table...
Haha!!! KEEP READING...
The worst 4 letter word of them all? FEAR.
I like to think I’m pretty brave… but I’ve been more fearful in the last 3 months than I have been in years.
From scheduling my surgery to sharing something so personal and venerable with the entire world, to the actual surgery, to silly things like going back to the gym and worrying about what I should say about where I’ve been.
Here’s what I’ve come to realize about FEAR.
Fear of what’s to come is so much worse than the actual thing we are afraid of. We let our minds run wild, all the what-ifs and worst-case scenarios start molding together, creating an ominous, scary prediction of what is to come.
Then, the thing we are so afraid of happens and it’s like… oh… that’s it? That wasn’t so bad. Days, or even months, or even years frozen in fear when you could just get it over with and move forward…
Why do we allow FEAR to consume us, freak us out, keep us up at night, make us anxious, and scare us when it’s nothing more than a bad feeling our brain manifested?! The perceived FEAR isn’t what’s actually going to happen.
Are you with me? Is this making sense? For you visual humans (like me….)
Here are some examples:
Fear: I was TERRIFIED to share with the world about my upcoming surgery. I was sure they were going to judge me, talk about me behind my back, and I was embarrassed. I can’t share because it will hurt my business or my husband’s business because everyone will think I’m shallow or think badly of me… and on and on. I held back on sharing for MONTHS. Thought about it Every. Single. Day. What if, but… should I…
Reality: Took a deep breath and opened my heart and shared my story. Within hours of the podcast episode and the social media posts, my inbox was flooded. EVERYONE was so kind, understanding, supportive, and loving. I received countless personal messages from women and mamas who were going through something similar and they all shared how much my bravery impacted them, and helped them.
Fear: Undergoing surgery. I could die. What if they botch me forever? What will happen to my family? I might bleed to death, or they could leave a tool inside me (this is my brain people….) And honestly? My biggest fear? Was pooping on the table. Go figure.
Reality: Surgery was 100% fine. I went under with a clam peacefulness, surrounded myself in prayer and protection, and woke up 3 hours later. No major issues... and I’m still alive. Winning! And my results exceeded all of my expectations!
Fear: The recovery process. Who will clean my house and take care of my kids while I’m recovering? How will I lift Landon out of his crib? Will the laundry take over my house? What if my business suffers because I can’t work? Will I lose all of my muscle mass and endurance? What will I tell everyone at the gym?
Reality: Recovery was HARD the first 4 days. I mean in tears with pain, migraines, and sleeplessness kinda horrible. But the length of the recovery was WAY shorter than anticipated. I healed super fast and felt back to myself within 2-3 weeks. It was so much fun to binge Netflix and chill. I didn’t work much, I enjoyed my bed and the R&R. Also, my family stepped up big time. My mom took care of me while my husband took care of the kids. Husband even did dishes and laundry and my house didn’t get crazy. Everything was totally fine. And… no one at the gym even flinched when I walked in today. They were like oh hey girl, welcome back! No questions, just love.
Here are 3 steps to managing fear so that you can breathe easy, trust the process, and let go and let God:
1) Give yourself permission to feel the FEAR for a moment. “Hey Stef, I know this is scary and it’s okay to feel nervous and unsure. But remember, you are covered in God’s protection and his love. You are going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.”
2) Recognize your FEARS as simple thoughts, not reality. Make a list of what you are scared of and the worst-case scenarios. Talk yourself through why those are simply thoughts and re-frame.
3) Talk your fear through with a positive, supportive friend, spouse or coach. Having someone else walk through this fear with you and allow you to get it off your chest is not only comforting, it’s liberating.
4) Take action. If you can, get the THING you are scared of over with!!!! That’s why I always go FIRST when public speaking, because I know it’s not that bad and the anticipation only makes my anxiousness grow. Just do it! It shortens the time you are able to feel scared, and shows you that girl, you got this.
5) Accept that FEAR is a part of life. A part of success, a part of motherhood. The good thing is, now know you can manage it, and how to navigate the journey from fear to.. wow, I did it!
Come join me on the show to learn about conquering, managing and understanding fears! Meet ya there.
Love and light,
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