I’m a failure.
And actually? I’ve failed MANY times as an entrepreneur. But every time, I learned an invaluable life lesson. I learned how to be better, do better, show up in a more authentic way... Call me crazy, but I’ve learned to love: A good challenge, being uncomfortable, messing up, trying something and realizing that it’s not actually going to work, having that course flop, feeling overwhelmed and like I’m at the breaking point. Are you thinking I’m certifiably nuts at this point? Here’s why I love failing. The hard stuff... the dark seasons: God has big plans for us. He will qualify the called, right? If we don’t take action and move our feet... try, and then try again, and then try over again... fail... get up, dust ourselves of... try again... How are we ever going to learn from our mistakes and reach our greatest potential? Here’s the thing about me… I’m not afraid to fail. And I don’t care what people think of me anymore, because the only person's opinion that actually matters is bigger than all of this. My first two years as an entrepreneur are loaded with failures. And guess what? Each one taught me invaluable life lessons that I have used to create a non-negotiable, balanced, successful passive income business. Ready to hear about my top 5 failures? I'm sharing them on today's podcast. From not setting boundaries, to letting comparison and jealousy into my heart, to massive burnout that caused anxiety attacks, focusing on fast success vs. the long game.. Come listen and learn with me, beauty! I hope you enjoy. Love and light, Stef P.S. Don't forget to take a screenshot and share today's episode in your IG stories to get featured in my IG stories!
Full transcription available at the bottom of this blog post.
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Show Notes:
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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPTION:
What's up. Beautiful human. Welcome to another show. This is going to be all about five ways that I failed early on in my entrepreneurial journey. It's going to be real good, real, real good. This one might actually hurt, especially if you are doing one of these things right now, so get ready to brace yourself. But I think that these hard truths are really what can shift our businesses. Force us to take a look in the mirror and evaluate what's working. What's not working and where we need to stop listening to our heads and start tuning into our hearts and make the big changes that's ultimately going to help us go next level. Help us love what we do. Help us really be in line with our greatest life. What's up. Mama boss. Welcome back to The Mompreneur Mastermind Show. I'm Stefanie Gass, success strategist, and passive income queen creator. If you're ready to step into your God, led potential, create profit from your passions and capture the success that is already yours. This podcast was made for you as always. You can find out more and connect with me over at stefaniegass.com. So grab that cup of coffee or fill up that glass of wine and let's dig in to today's show. Okay. So I know what you're thinking. Stephanie is talking about failures. Like I thought she didn't really believe in all that listen up. I do believe that there is such thing as failures because that's inevitable in life. However, I think that every failure is a growth opportunity. Every single time, something doesn't work out, we can only gain the crazy invaluable life lessons from that tailor it. So that next time we can be a little bit better. It also helps us to get tough skin. It helps us to take a look at ourselves and recognize maybe where our strengths and weaknesses lie so that we can better run a business. Maybe there are some things we need to outsource, or maybe we need to be really honest with ourselves about where and how we're spending our time. So I think that failure is simply a way to grow and learn and become better at the end of the day. But I wanted to share with you on today's episode, what my top five failures were as an entrepreneur in the first two-ish years of my entrepreneurship journey. And so hopefully I can help you not do all of that. Or if you are doing some of these things, you can stop the madness. But before we get into the show, I want to read you this super quick review. This review was left by Aaron Cooley. It's a five-star review over on iTunes. And Aaron says, love hearing, powerful women working to lift and empower those around them. Thank you for taking the time to make a difference with the content you share. Like Yeah. Thank you Erin. Oh, like I just love me a good review. It truly does make me super happy. It makes me smile every single time. I see that one of you has left me a review. It makes my entire day. So if you want to make my day right now, if you want me to do a little happy dance and jump up and down with excitement, I want you to go to iTunes right now, leave a star review and subscribe to the show. So that you'll be the first one to know when a new episode airs and PS nine times out of 10. It's an entire day earlier than the rest of the world knows about so intent. There you go. Have fun with that. So Here we go. I'm a brand new entrepreneur getting started in network marketing. That was my first taste of entrepreneurship. It was how I was going to work from home with my kids. I was sold the dream. Let me tell you what I saw the videos and the people running around the parks with their lamb bows and like working from Hawaii on their phone and like floating in an extra large pink Flamingo floaty in the pool while sipping an amazing cocktail and making millions of dollars. And I'm like, Oh yeah, like that looks so sweet. I'm going to be her. And I totally drank the Kool-Aid jumped in. I mean, I was just going full speed ahead because I realized that, Hey, if you know, these people in these promo videos are really doing this thing, there's zero chance that I'm not going to do it too. Like I am such an achiever. I'm like a dog with a bone or I have a goal and a mission, zero obstacle that would keep me from getting that goal. And so that's what I decided pretty much. The day I got started, I was super focused. I tell you what, if you were to fast forward two years into that career, I had done it. I can check the box becoming a six-figure network. Marketer is very rare in the industry, especially in just two years. I had a team of over 1000 people. My best month was a $17,000 month. I qualified for a $50,000 bonus. I had free car bonuses. My cars are paid for, we had one or two trips a year fully paid for. And if you were to look on paper and on industry standard, I had totally crushed it. Like I had done it. I had hit the big leagues in this industry and Hey, that's what you know, you're supposed to do. That's the end goal, right? Like once you do that, you never have to work again. And you're floating Flamingo drink in your mimosa, like life is gravy right wrong. Now for a second, I was riding high on all the recognition, the adrenaline, I'm a three on the Enneagram. So I'm an achiever. And when I achieve, I feel worthy. I now know the things that I need to work on and some of my shortfalls as an entrepreneur, but at the time all they cared about was success, financial success. And what other people thought about me. But what I didn't realize is I was really going to start suffering and going down a steep pitfall of despair, of searching for meaning of realizing that happiness isn't found in just money that this dream that yes I had achieved was not realistic for 99 out of 100 people that I was actually working harder at maintaining this lifestyle. Then I had in corporate America. And when I look back on those two years, there are five failures that I really made that five mistakes, big mistakes that ended up becoming failures as an entrepreneur. And I want to share those with you because I think when you look at money and you look at people's accolades, you think while they were just successful and that's just the end of the story and you know, well good for them. But what you don't see is the dark parts of their journey. You don't understand what they had to go through in order to check that success box, how they really feel inside and maybe all the things in their life that they sacrificed in order to check that box, but stay into this. Shall we? So, number one, the first failure as an entrepreneur was not setting boundaries. I am talking major boundary issues. I was a newish mama when I got started and we had moved into this new house in the mountains. I was trying to be a present work from home mama to my brand new son who was roughly one, one ish at the time, and, you know, maintain this household while trying to grow this network marketing empire. And I had zero boundary issues because all I was focused on was that end goal, the success box, you know? And so I would take calls whenever someone needed me, when ever I'm not joking. And this might make me sound like a bad mom, but this is just the reality of where I was at, you know, mentally and, and inside my own head. So, I mean, gosh, he could be, we could be playing in the middle of doing a puzzle on the floor together and I'd get a text like, Hey Steph, can you take this quick call? And I mean, I was good at sales. I was so good at sales. And so I was always the go-to person on my team to get me on the phone with their potential recruits, with their potential customers. And I could sell this dream because at the time I really, really believed in it. And when you really, really believe in something you're passionate excitement that will shine through and be contagious and other people will want that same excitement and they will join. Right? So, I mean, I had zero boundary issues. I could be working out, I would stop the workout, take the phone, call my husband, I would be hanging out and I would say, Oh, I got to take this call. You know, I'd have to step out, take the call at, you know, on anniversaries. I would take the calls. I would go. And I would do all these events and show up constantly for everyone else, with myself, my own selfish desires at the bottom of it, which was becoming successful. And having everybody know that I made it. And it's such a platform that you're on when you're in network marketing and it's all about what other people think of you, that's really how they drive you to perform. And so that's what I did. And I had zero boundary issues and there was a day, gosh, it was roughly two years in my husband and I are sitting down across the counter from each other, having some wine. And we get into this really deep conversation. He's like, listen to me, there has to be an end to this much work. Like you're at the point of obsession. You're not even present in a conversation because all you can think about is your phone responding to the text, it's checking the numbers. It's focusing on this one thing and nothing else matters. And like I felt crushed because at first I was angry and I felt like, how dare you? Like don't, you know that I'm doing this for the family and, and the money and the time freedom to be here with my son. All of those were lies because really what I was doing at four was me. The first failure was not setting boundaries. The day I became an entrepreneur setting boundaries, not only physically in my life where it was okay, half of the day is still spent with my son, with my family, with self-care Oh, PS, I had gained 50 pounds with that pregnancy. And I did not care about myself at all. I would just eat whatever to get back to work. I was a workaholic full blown, like in every sense of the word. So also not setting boundaries in my heart. What was really important to me as a human being, I let my ego own my life instead of letting my heart lead the way, instead of letting God and Jesus and my beliefs for what a most balanced human being and a most fed Stephanie would, would look like and then setting my life up to be that way. So not having boundaries was detrimental, detrimental to the next two years of my life after that point. So set your boundaries right now. Y'all if you are working around the clock, stop it, get out your planner right now, and book in the things that light you up, do not ignore the things that come less easily to you either, right? Like work is so easy for me. I love to work. I love it. It lights me up. Like I truly just wake up with drive and vision and passion pretty much with any career that I've had. And that's easy for me. What was not easy for me was forcing myself to work out wow. Or go to the gym. It's just not really in my nature. Also, it wasn't really in my nature was I'm going to schedule this hour and I'm actually going to play with my kids. And that may sound really horrible. I don't know, but it was the truth because, you know, I was so laser focused on this. So if you're facing this right now, today in your own business, there will be a time when you're going to regret that everything will backfire or on you. So right now, stop make boundaries, create office hours set. How were hours in your planner where you can be fully intentional on your work, but that you're also not ignoring and jeopardizing all the other important things in your life. Okay. Number two, I was super focused on comparison and this was, it's definitely a failure when I look back because I allow it other people's success stories to drive my own behavior. And I allowed it to make me angry, make me reactive. I allowed it to put me into ultra workaholic mode because I wanted to achieve what that person had achieved. I also think that work marketing, these companies use this on purpose. So they're constantly putting the top 1% in front of you as like dangling the carrot. Like, well, if they can do it, why can't you like work harder? But I call BS on that. I call BS on that. And I think that you should never compare yourself to anyone else's current situation. You can look at it and let it be inspiring for you and go, wow, that's super great. You know, I mean, heck yes, I want to become a Jenna Jenna cooker or Rachel Hollis and have millions and millions of downloads, but that's not my journey. That's not my story. And that's not where I am today. So I can look at them and say, Hey cool, that's an amazing audacious goal for this show and this podcast. But today, you know, right now, as I record this episode, we have 15,000 downloads and that's freaking hella awesome. Right. I can only compare myself to myself. So what I'd look at is my monthly metrics. Are we growing the show more than we did last month? That's it like, that's all you can do. And so today I have this really healthy relationship with comparison and I recognize that my journeys, no one else's journey. And yes, once in a while I have a feeling of jealousy creep in. And that's when I realized I'm only jealous because I'm because I want that. You know? And so I'll pray for that person that I'm feeling jealous for and release it. And most times I even send them a voice text. I'm like, Hey, I just want you to know that you're killing it. Like you were doing so amazing. And you are such an inspiration for me. And the second I get it out of my mouth, all the jealousy melts away because I am not going to live in an, in a scarcity mindset. There is enough for every human on this planet. There is more than enough. And so I want to come from an abundance mindset. I want more beauty, more money, more happiness for every human in the world. And I know that when that starts to happen, that's when it's going to come back to me. But back when I was a new entrepreneur, I had a scarcity mindset. It was, that was my client. That was my customer. I want this, I want that. It created a really negative aura around just me in general, but also the morale of the team. When you're comparing yourself to everyone else, you are never going to be good enough. You will never feel worthy because there's always someone that's further than you always. So how on earth can you compare yourself to anyone but yourself? Okay. Oh my goodness. Y'all believe it or not. Podcast pro university is literally live in the world and there are already students and people are launching their podcast left and right. And I'm blown away at the responses I've had to this course. Do I, have you considering starting your own podcast by now? I sure hope so. I wanted you to know that I put together a 45 minute live training webinar that you can come and learn more, figure out if podcasting might be right for you. I talk about how you monetize the podcast. 10 steps to starting your own show. Ways that a podcast can help you grow your brand. And why podcasting has been the number one platform for me and my business in the last 12 months, I'll meet you inside the training head over to Bitly slash 10 steps to podcasting the number 10 Bitly slash 10 steps to podcasting and save your seat. The third one was burnout, major burnout. When you are working round the clock and constantly taking phone calls, constantly looking at your phone, you're always reactive because you've got this. I had a team of a thousand people and I was absolutely the constraint. I was the lid because I would do everything for everyone. And there was no way to outsource. Most of what I did. There was no automation and it was just too much to handle and I would just keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it and keep doing it until finally it started to manifest itself as anxiety attacks and how many of you can relate to that? And we're actually going to have a show coming up about anxiety. I have an amazing therapist coming on to teach us about anxiety, how we're going to manage that and handle that as entrepreneurs and release it. So looking forward to that episode, but how can you work yourself to the bone? And you're going to find yourself burnt out and burnout is the worst because you're unmotivated, you're uninspired, you're angry, frustrated, and most often your body is going to tell you that there's an emergency happening inside. And that's not going to be pretty. I have so many entrepreneurial friends that have had massive anxiety attacks, and it's often after a period of working themselves to insanity, your body will scream at you. Whether that be depression, anxiety, whether that be sickness. A lot of times, your body might even just get sick to force you to stop. So that was number three was I worked so much so hard that I created anxiety in my life and I still struggle with it. And it all started after that period of time in my life, when I just worked way too much, number four, I focused on quick achievement versus the long game. This to me, I did an episode recently about, should you fake it till you make it? And this kind of goes back to that. Where when you get in as a new entrepreneur, you start that business, you launched that blog, you joined that new MLM or whatever it might be. You want success quickly, right? Because that's how people are going to take you seriously. You want all the clients, you want people to think you're doing really successfully and really well. So maybe you fudge, maybe you're like, Oh my gosh, you know, I just have so many colors. It's like, Oh, I'm just so busy. Like Becky call my assistant. And you're pretending to be the assistant. And you're like, Hey, this is Mary, the assistant. I've never done it. I can tell you that. That has definitely crossed my mind. Like this is the crazy that we face. Okay. As entrepreneurs I'm telling you. So I was super focused on quick achievement. And so I would constantly tell people like, you can just get in and you'll make your money back in 30 days, it's going to be so easy. Like, look how many people on my team have hit the car bonus and dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. And I was so focused on this quick achievement that we were bringing in people that really didn't want to be part of the industry. We were bringing in customers that really couldn't afford the products. So there was no retention. We were kind of fudging and stretching all of the success. We were definitely downplaying the amount of work that it takes to be a top percent earner in that industry. And the problem with that is there's no sustainability and there's no duplication because even though I might be an amazing salesperson, I'm going to tell you right now that 98% of the world hates sales. What was going on? Is that because I'm so focused on selling this dream instead of selling the reality of the industry, which is you can get in, you can make a few hundred dollars a month and you're going to work really hard at it. You better be obsessed with these products and you better be moderate at marketing and sales period. Do you still want to do it? Does this still make sense for you? Right. And if we would have been focused on that on the authentic side of being an entrepreneur on knowing, Hey, maybe it takes me three years or five years or 10 years to build something, but I want to build something that's so rock solid and it's built on so much honesty and truth. That there's no way it could falter that everyone that's part of this thing with me, they're all in because I was truly honest with them. From the beginning, I built it in the right way. I trained them in the right way. I put the systems in place. I took the time to put the systems in place that would duplicate, that would automate. And that would really become passive because at the end of this whole big game, I think the reality of what success really means is time. If you are building an empire that depends solely on you, you are going to hit almost all of these failures. That for me, really ended up hurting my health relationships, my sanity. And so you want to ask yourself, can I, am I right now today focusing on quick achievement, by doing everything myself by charging too little by maybe stretching the accomplishments that we've actually done, or maybe fibbing on what this company really offers, whatever that might be. I want you to be really, really honest with that situation and change it, like flip that script ASAP because that's going to backfire again. Any shortcut to success isn't for me is not built on sustainability. So when I go back, I look at that picture and that failure I'm over here selling this dream and selling this super quick achievement mentality. What happened? It started to crumble. Yes. I hit the success boxes, but here's the reality. I was working endless hours just to put people in faster than they were quitting. There was really no big residual there. The reality of that was it wasn't fueling me because I hadn't focused on the long game on building something that could become automated. And I was having to show up for everything in order for it to work. So please take number five for seriously. Okay. Last one, number five. I hadn't passive tunnel vision. Has this ever happened to you? You get really focused on something and that's all you can see, that's it. That's all you can see and maybe something. And he's like, Hey, Mary, I've noticed, you're kind of like really into this thing. Like maybe it's a new diet fat. Okay. And you're like super into it. I mean, there's zero chance. You're not going to do amazing at it. And then somebody comes in, they're like, Oh yeah, that one looked cool, but Hey, did you hear about this? You know, other style of eating and have you ever, and you're like, Nope, that one sucks. Like this is it. And then a year down the road, you're like, well, that didn't actually work out for me, insert foot in mouth. So I had so much tunnel vision. Like mine was the only company out there. Mine was the only way that you could become a work from home parent. My way was the way like get out of here. Don't talk to me about anything else. Like it was so bad that I would just accost my family members, like at weddings that I hadn't seen in like 20 years. And I'm like, hi, join this with me. Like Rob become a millionaire. And they're just like, I'm sure, like inside their brain, they're like what the F is happening. This girl's gone crazy that my tunnel vision was insane. And it was so insane for then I continued, I continued on for another two more years after that initial two years, it was two more years and it was a struggle bus legit. And so here's the failure there. It's your right answer is not everyone. Else's right. Answer. Your products are not for everyone. Mine weren't yours. The business model is not going to work for everyone. And when I, I shoved that down everyone's throats, I lost friends. I got de-friended on social media. My family intervene. They're like, dude, you gotta chill out. And it was just to the point of true obsession with only one thing. And where I really hurt myself here is I was listening to my head and my ego. And when you listen to your head and your ego, that is never going to be a good thing. That is a recipe for disaster. So what I really should have done was gone after this thing, Ben excited about it. You know, created boundaries from the beginning. I should have never compared myself to anyone else because I think I would have had a slower climb to success, but it would have been much more sustainable if I would have had the view on the long game and what I really wanted to build, like, let's say five or 10 years out, instead of I'm going to take every shortcut in the book, just so that I look like a success story, just so that I can hit this rank or this income goal. And if I would have not done all those things and I would have listened to my heart, here's the difference I would have asked. I actually cared about what other people needed. And I wouldn't have had such a tunnel vision when it came to all that matters is what Stephanie needs, you know, and really what it should have been about is, Hey, what do all of you need? How can I help all of you have a success story and have a good experience here. And if I would have been listening to my heart, I think I would have been heard a voice earlier in the journey telling me, Hey, Steph, you know, morally, I don't think that this might be the best fit for you. I probably could have opened my eyes and my heart to adding in some other income streams a long time ago, instead of waiting, waiting for everything to come crashing down around me. And then I was faced with a really hard financial situation, Asian and forced to just really make some hard choices, you know? And I think that all of us will face that, but we don't have to face that if we have an open heart to what's next. I think so often God is trying to show us maybe the next step, or maybe you will had this initial dream because it compounds on a bigger dream or a bigger purpose that God has for us. But we're so focused on the dream that we think we should be going for. We black out all other noise. And we think that if we're not successful at this one thing, then it's all over in the big scheme things that was a tiny stepping stone for me too, to where I am right now to this podcast, to becoming a coach, to finding my own worth in a really big way to recognizing and opening my heart to people in a whole new way, kind of shifting the way that I operate as a human, as a mother, as a wife, it was such a massive growth experience for me. But I think if I could go back and tell myself, you know what, I first got started with entrepreneurship, I would've told them self, these five things will come and tempt you, right? Because your ego is real and the enemy is real, but I want to warn you staff. Okay. I want to warn you that if you can just set yourself up to not ignore these five things, your success story is going to feel so much sweeter. Even if it takes you longer, because it will be built on truth. It will be built on hard work on vulnerability and authenticity. It will be something that God would be proud of you for, instead of your ego is proud of you for that. Do you feel me? So those are five failures that I had. And so that was fun. No, it really was fun. It's so interesting to me to take a look back at yourself and say, gosh, how have I grown? You know, how have I become a better version of me? And it's fun to look at that you guys, cause we are always evolving. We're always learning. And I think the goal for me is just to be a little bit better every day. And by better, I just mean more focused on my life's work more in tune spiritually, doing something that God is calling me to do showing up more for my kids in a bigger way, being a better friend. Gosh, there's so many ways that I can just be a tiny bit better than yesterday and not every day is perfect, but I'll tell you what, if you can be honest with yourself today and maybe write down a couple of things that you think you're failing at, okay, write it down and then recognize it as maybe I am failing at something right now. Maybe I'm working too much. I want you to notice that a you've admitted it and then B I want you to reframe it and say, I am now going to have a growth opportunity from something that I'm failing at, which means I'm going to be a little bit better about this tomorrow and take the initiative to change it. You and only you can change the behaviors that are hurting you only, you, you have the decision to stop working too much to stop comparing yourself to others, to stop coming from a scarcity mindset, to start showing up for yourself and lose the weight, get fit, eat healthy. You know, you have the opportunity to decide, to be a kinder, more patient mama, to be a more understanding and faithful and incredible wife like this is up to you. And right now, no matter how old you are right now, you can be better tomorrow already. And then you can be a little bit better the next day and a little bit better the next day. And we can grow forward together and we can look back two years from now and say, wow, there were some things I wrote down after listening to Steph's podcast. And they were things I felt like I was failing at. And today I can say without a shadow of a doubt that I have grown past it, I am so proud of myself and I'm going to go and celebrate and drink the wine and eat the chocolate. So that was, that was an awesome episode. I really, really hope that you loved it. And I want to give you a big, big time secret right now. I am working on something so huge. It's bigger than anything I ever put out there before I'm working on it. I'm probably 40% done. And if you want to know what it is, you have To be part of my success with Stephanie insider group, because they are going to be the first ones to know about this incredible project I've been working on. So if that's you and you're like, I gotta be in the know girl, head over to 30 ways to grow a following dot G R eight, the number eight.com get signed up as an insider. I'm going to send you free gifts. And then I'm going to let you know and let you in on some little secrets about what I got cooking. It's going to be so exciting. And I think you are going to just explode with happiness and love it. All right, beautiful. Sending you off now with so much abundance. I pray over you that you recognize that you are full of power. You have so much to give and I pray that you dig deep and pool. All of that courage, all of those dreams, all of that drive that you have deep in your heart and you pull it to the surface and you start utilizing it to dang. Now that you stop waiting on your dreams, that you stop waiting on changing the things that aren't serving you and that you start taking action. Now, I pray that you find the guidance, mentorship, love and support that you need to move forward and to be the absolute best version of you. Love you so much. I am cheering for you as always love and light Steph, Hey mama, real quick before you go, if you found value in today's podcast and you learn something new, if you'll head over to iTunes, the mompreneur mastermind show and leave a review and subscribe to the channel, that would be awesome. And I love to connect with you over on social media. My handle is at @stefaniegass. I'll see you soon. Praying, light, love and abundance until next time.
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Stefanie GassLots of fancy unused education. Podcast Coach, Clarity Coach, & Top #25 Ranked Podcast Host for Christian Entrepreneurs.  Archives
November 2020
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